When all is uncertain,
I count the things of which,
I can be sure of.
Things I can count.
Things I can know.
Things I can see or touch.
Control is an illusion,
But today, this helps.
One.
Breath is in my body.
Two.
I will walk the dog.
Three.
We will see falling leaves.
Four.
I will touch a conker.
I love the feel of a conker.
And,
As it turns out.
Today, I only needed to count to four.
To be sure, to be certain.
When all is uncertain,
I count the things of which
I can be sure of.
No one curses a tree for
Dropping her leaves.
Standing there,
Bare and naked.
She is given her time.
Understood, life is seasons.
Beneath the concrete lies,
the city’s deepest dreams,
yours and mine, each
unearthed.
Cold, rain dances on the
cold tarmac,
rat-a-tap-tap,
contents, car parks
Cash ‘n’ carry,
Do you take contactless?
clubs and pubs
puddles, floods, curbs drown.
Closing Down Sale,
Everything must go!
Go, red lights glow –
car break lights, traffic,
thick brick walls
Brutalism
Architecture, not fit for
Kings and Queens of time
gone by, run and hide,
Quick, inside! Safe and sound
Shake off.
Take off, that cold anorak.
A world of mine.
I’m walking the mountains in low cloud,
the mist descends. I can’t see beyond doubt.
All the senses that I started with,
have too long ad libbed.
I can barely see further than my next step,
finding it hard to remember,
what steps I felt before I left.
I can just make out a dark shape,
this big figure with a shadow of a cape.
It begins to emerge from the gloom,
the first thing I’ve seen,
my messenger of good news.
I get closer and closer and it rises and rises.
This stern figure, that keeps on climbing
and it’s such a relief not to be alone,
except for this big pile of stones.
Happy to have reached it.
I have reached it at last.
It is my watcher, my guardian,
custodian of unmarked paths.
When the mist rolled through,
and the snow fell my way,
it tells me I am not lost.
Nor alone.
And that many others have passed this way.
“Keep talking to me guys,”
I say it on the radio,
as you drift away,
This is it now.
All eyes watch you make history,
and I’m sitting here inside,
sweating like a nervous bride.
Right about now.
The world will be marvelling at you,
but they do not know,
history has not yet been made,
God, it’s still playing out now.
It’s 50-50, you say,
I’m waiting here in Columbia,
waiting to hear from Eagle.
Absolutely nothing I can do now.
One day without you, hidden behind the moon,
Out of sight and out of mind, hidden by 250,000 miles,
and if you could say it you would have,
You would have said it now.
The speech is written, it’s ready to be given.
This is my secret terror,
that I’ll be alone now.
and you’ll have been lost forever.
“Fate has ordained
that the men who went to the moon
to explore in peace
will stay on the moon
to rest in peace.”
Me a marked man returning home,
this is just one day to kill,
but in my head, time drags on and only fear will fill,
these moments of dread now.
Since you left me,
you have made me the single most distant,
Solo Traveller,
patiently stranded in orbit now.
I’m waiting here, alone in Columbia,
I am truly alone now.
Three days we spent gazing out,
on the earth getting smaller and smaller
Something to write home about.
But we’re still not convinced,
this dream is meant to come true.
If they fail to rise from the surface
or crash back into it?
Whatever should happen,
I am a changed man.
I know it, this is aloneness,
unknown to man before now.
No radio transmission from mission control,
the bulk of the moon has blocked them all.
While the world watches on at what you do,
You’re the only thing on my mind now.
I’m thinking of both of you
Your mothership waits behind
You can take your steps
I will watch on now.
Our giant leaps may soon demise,
the mothership’s only son,
the eagle, attempts to fly
Did apollo 11 forget me?
Did destiny only write half my story
all born in 1930,
each one of us born at the right time,
the very first lunar landing now.
And we returned home,
from way out there.
To return home with you
was the greatest of honours now.
Whether they even remember me or not,
Alone in Columbia.
Out there I’m never forgot,
And put lucky on my tombstone — we made it back.
I am alive and breathing,
You are the first, on the left-hand page.
I am living in a terrace house,
You are a shout in the ancient streets and alleyways.
I am stood at the bus stop,
You are the site where the future saint was just wounded.
I am mooching, just walking through town,
You are layers of the city’s topographical palimpsest.
I am clamped, still working it out,
You are recording, and informing on worlds events.
I am clumsy with words sometimes,
You are ironic, ambiguous and sometimes you’re heard.
I am trying to learn,
You are the overt literary references.
I am nice and friendly,
You are only a symbol of reconciliation.
I could count my friends on my fingers,
You are lingering, fuelling old fears.
I am hanging to a humble outlook,
You are patriotic, historic, above all aesthetically artistic.
I am taking each day as it comes,
You are fifty drafts long and then done.
I am one in seven billion,
You are published and indefinitely reproducible.
I may not be very interesting,
But you, you may not be real.
You might wonder what happened, what actually was the matter?
That evening when I, a professional lawyer, opened my front door to the Mad Hatter,
He was wearing his big hat but also a miserable frown and I was concerned by the latter,
Now although I read it back when I was only six, I thought he seemed a lot fatter,
But then I thought maybe it was Johnny Depp who had made him look a lot fitter,
Perhaps he wants a law case -wants to sue – too many cakes, now diabetic and bitter,
Yes! That’s a good one to tell the kids about, and so I let out a little titter,
And then I realised. This fat, sad-looking fashionista was actually the babysitter.
